I have a good friend, a fellow Baby-Boomer, who is chewing on the idea of going back to school and getting a degree in Business Administration. I think this would be a smart move for him at his stage in life, and I told him so. He's not quite as convinced as I am, however, and can't seem to fully decide whether to go for it or not. I've tried to inject helpful suggestions, like pointing out that getting the degree might help him learn to make decisions on stuff like this. Heck, I figured that out right away, and I don't have a degree in Business Administration!
Even in the face of such sage advice, though, he continues to waffle. He figures it'll take him 3 years to complete the program, meaning he'll be 55 when he finishes. I told him that's not so old, and besides, I asked, how old are you going to be in 3 years if you don't get the degree?
Of all the justifications he could have pulled out to defend this exercise in indecision, he said he was concerned it was just maybe a mid-life crisis. Of all the options he could have selected, that was probably the worst one he could have possibly picked to use on me.
I'm not an expert on this subject (although you'd think so after reading the world-class advice nuggets above). The fact is, though, I'm just a regular guy who has never been completely sold on the idea that there's even any such thing as a mid-life crisis. I think it's largely an overworked excuse for behavior that would be unacceptable if measured by any other standard. It's fine to make course corrections in life, but I think you ought to take responsibility for them instead of blaming them on a syndrome.
I read a quote once (and I TRULY wish I could remember who said it) that said that we focus on living in the present so intensely because we regret the past and fear the future. It's a depressing little quote, to be sure, but it has the ring of truth, doesn't it? How many things will we never do, not because we aren't smart enough or don't have the resources, but simply because we'll just never do them?
I left college at the age of 19, fully intending to go back after taking a little time off. Next thing I knew, I was 30. It's around that age that many folks start realizing that there's such a thing as time you can't get back once it's gone. Every turn my life has taken since making that move at 19 has been influenced in one way or another by that decision. Some turns have been for the better, some not. Overall, though, I'm extremely happy with how it turned out, and I understand that I travelled the path I selected. I don't blame a syndrome, or a disorder, or society, or anything else. The things I've gained or lost were results of the choices I made.
My point is that I'd still be my present age right now no matter whether I went back to school or not. The history of those years was written, in many ways, when I was still 19 and on the threshold of that decision. The way things are set up, we just have to wait and read our histories after the fact. The only true disappointment I would face would be to read that history and realize that I had robbed myself of the experience of finding, and being responsible for, my own direction- robbed myself by taking the "safer" option of taking no action at all.
So let me address this personal note to my friend- just get your degree, willya? You'll be a better man for it, and it's giving me a headache figuring all this stuff out for you.
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